The journey to self-discovery has no end! It’s a continuous voyage that one can only learn along the way while being put to the test to what you have already learned. Life has not wasted any moment in putting me through different tests, where I have had to prove that I did learn from my past and can’t afford to make the same mistakes.
As human beings it’s natural to yearn and search for a soulmate whether for friendship or intimacy through a significant other. Personally I have been open to satisfying this urge and in the process, I have come across folks who are on the path to satisfy the same need. In other words I have joined the dating scene and it’s not as easy or fun as I hoped it would be. It’s actually been more exhausting.
I am quite a social person or so I would like to believe but who thought dating in this generation is a whole type of ball game. Being an old-school type of individual (meaning I’ve tried online dating, not into hook ups or friends with benefits), I feel like a different type of breed partaking in the world of dating among my peer group. If you don’t know what I am talking about, monogamous/committed relationships in my generation is quite hard to find. Personally I’ve always been open to dating, so I’ve had my share of online dates as well as “fun” but just recently, is when I became serious about it. Especially now that its summer and its a new chapter of my life, I thought I would give it a shot.
Funny how some people that I’ve met can really test your whole being (insecurities and all). I guess the point of this blog post is that there’s a very thin line to settling for less in order to fulfill the urge of finding a significant other. Whether it’s for intimacy or just friendship. Being always the single one among your friends can get pretty frustrating. Although I do know what I deserve, I would be lying if I said that through this process I’ve allowed to be disrespected to a certain extent where I did question my worthiness. Hence my self-discovery journey was put to the test.
Now that I’ve moved back home, I also thought I would reconnect old friendships as well as extend olive branches to friendships that had died. Being in a new found space doesn’t mean the other party is in the same type of space. As much as I have gained and grown from this friendships, it doesn’t mean that they will last forever. As my mother always said, “friends come and go, some of them are just designated for a season.”
Part of being an adult and truly loving yourself flaws and all, is realizing when to let go. Moving forward, dating for me will be put to the back burner as I focus my energy on other projects and adventures that I would love to venture on. This is not to say that I have given up but rather allow for the process to come naturally and let fate make its course.